Mindwise

Bulletin

December 2002, Vol. 2.

Creating the Utopian Environment

"Emotional Fitness at Christmas"

Hello Colleagues

Thank you for your overwhelming response to our inaugural E-Zine in November and for your messages of support. Thank you also for sharing the newsletter with your own friends and colleagues.

As the Christmas season is fast approaching, this month addresses "Emotional Fitness at Christmas" in response to a requests from a number of you.

Christmas is meant to be a time of joy and homecoming but it seems that for many people it is a time that has to be endured, even survived. Many are lonely at Christmas. It's surprising how many people are on their own for Christmas lunch. Often there is financial struggle and fear of disappointing the children if the presents are not grandiose enough. One report mentioned that some families are still paying off their financial debt from last Christmas. Parents are often stressed with all that has to be done. Many families meet for the first time in a long while and there is a fear of offending some family members if you don't show up for the family gathering. Alcohol is consumed in excess and in extreme cases there is family violence

The good news is that you can choose to have a wonderful Christmas a truly 'Utopian one'! Change the way you cope with life and you'll cope with Christmas, automatically. Here are some hints for you can have 'emotional fitness' at Christmas.

Meditate for 20 minutes each day and start today. This is imperative. You haven't got time not to do it. It costs you nothing and the benefits are endless: greater calm, more peaceful feelings, less irritability, reduced frustration, better concentration, improved sleep, increased motivation, lower blood pressure, improved loving, improved libido and increased feelings of well-being to name a few.

"Self-Awareness" is the primary emotional competency so take responsibility for developing awareness of your motivations and behaviours around you choices at Christmas. For example, ask yourself, "why do I feel inclined to overspend at Christmas? " If you understand your own insecurity on the matter you'll be less inclined to believe your often erroneous thoughts about your adequacy to provide.
Emotional Management is best achieved by monitoring and changing erroneous thoughts processes. Who said that you absolutely have to invite all the family over every year? Ask yourself where guilt comes from. Give yourself permission not to be superman or superwoman. Think clearly and keep things in perspective. Learn to say, "I am not able to manage that but I can manage this.'
Avoid false expectations about family members. Don't expect that they will be different this year and that it will be "one big happy family". If it is for some reason, then it's a bonus and enjoy the fellowship. Enduring family relationships take time to create and broken ones take time to recreate. Don't expect to achieve it on one day in the year. If you come from a family where members have intimacy and differences are accepted then the fellowship you experience in this kind of family will flow into the Christmas period as well. How lovely that is.
Care for yourself first and you'll be able to give more to others.
Take responsibility for your alcohol consumption.

The Utopian Couple at Christmas
Prior to Christmas a wife said to her husband, "This year let's give each other more practical gifts like socks and fur coats."

Finally, you may choose to make a commitment this year to rekindle your spiritual life at Christmas, in whatever way you understand that for yourself. After all, this is what Christmas is really all about. The research on spirituality is fascinating as it is now showing that we are hard-wired, via our neuroanatomy, to be spiritual people. It's like our spirituality has an anatomy the same way that our physical body does. You may wish to look at my website on 'Spiritual Intelligence' for more information on this (www.mindwise.com.au).

Workshop Series on Emotional Intelligence

In March 2003, I will be presenting a Workshop Series on Emotional Intelligence with John Lockwood, Director of Coaching for Results. The program has been designed on the basis of your requests and includes and assessment of your Emotional Intelligence using the BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory. The program is as follows:

Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace - Full-day Workshop, 12 March 2003 ($295 per person)
Emotional Intelligence for Leaders - Full-day Workshop, 13 March 2003 ($295 per person)
Emotional Intelligence for Couples - Full-day Workshop, 14 March 2003 ($395 per couple)

The Emotional Intelligence assessment alone is usually $400. Please advise your expression of interest and early in the new year I will provide venue details and further information.

With Kind Regards

Dr Cynthia Davis

B.Ed, Grad. Dip. App. Psych., M.Sc.,
Dip. Clin. Hyp., M.A.Ps.S., F.C.C.Ps., Ph.D.

Clinical and Corporate Psychologist
Accredited Professional Speaker (APS)

Ph: 61+(0)3 9654 7757
Email: cynthia.davis@mindwise.com.au
Website: http://mindwise.com.au